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Apr
01

Look, ๐Ÿ‘ having ๐Ÿˆถ nuclear โ˜ขโ˜ขโ˜ข โ€” my ๐Ÿ˜€ uncle was a great ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง professor ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿซ and ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ and engineer, ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ”ฌ Dr. John Trump at MIT; good ๐Ÿ†— genes, very good ๐Ÿ“ˆ genes, OK, very smart, ๐Ÿง  the Wharton School ๐Ÿซ๐ŸŽ of Finance, very good, ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿฆธโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™… very smart ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿง  โ€”

๐ŸคŸ know, if youโ€™re a conservative Republican, if I ๐Ÿ˜Š were a liberal, if, like, ๐Ÿงก OK, if I ๐Ÿ˜€ ran as a
10 min read
Jan
14

Last โ˜”๏ธ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒท๐Ÿ’spring๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒนโ˜”๏ธ , I was just a small๐Ÿ‘Ž freshman at the University of Pittsburgh. In addition to being a huge football ๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿˆ fan, I am also a โค๏ธ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿ’›HUGE๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œfan of ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ€, playing โ›น๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธand watching๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘… the game.

1๏ธโƒฃnight I was playing at our University gym๐Ÿ‹๏ธโ€โ™‚๏ธ, ๐Ÿ”ฅwarming up๐Ÿ”ฅ on a side court waiting to get into the
11 min read
Dec
28

DO NOT ORDER AMONG US HAPPY MEAL FROM MCDONALDS AT 3 AM!! (OMG IMPOSTOR CAME TO OUR HOUSE)

yo what is up you guys๐Ÿ˜ณright now were at mcdonalds ๐ŸŸand it is currently 3 in the morning โฐ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ‘บ๐Ÿ‘น๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’€โ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ’ฉ and
8 min read
Dec
24

My daughter๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿผ has pointed ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป out to me โ€ผ๏ธthat one 1๏ธโƒฃof you LIBERALS ๐Ÿดadded โž•me to this HATE ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿคฌgroup,,,. My generation ๐Ÿ’ฏis the oneโ˜๐Ÿป that brought america ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธup โฌ†๏ธfrom the rubble๐Ÿ—‘!!! You lazy ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿปmillenials only know ๐Ÿง how to selfie๐Ÿ“ฑ!!โ€ผ๏ธ

You want to kill ๐Ÿ”ชbabies ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿปand let the ILLEGALS ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿฝโ€๐ŸŒพ๐Ÿšซtake over OUR LANDโŒ๐Ÿ†˜. get off your cellphones๐Ÿ“ต and stop spending
5 min read
Dec
18

What if ๐Ÿง๐Ÿง we ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคญ wore ๐Ÿ‘”๐Ÿ‘– clown ๐Ÿคก makeup ๐Ÿ’„ and kissed ๐Ÿ˜˜ ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ˜ณ on the ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿคฉ stairs ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿคช the joker ๐Ÿคก ๐Ÿƒ danced ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿป on๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฌ๐Ÿ‘ญ๐Ÿ‘ซ๐ŸŽˆ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ˜˜

In the Gotham City of 2019's Joker, Arthur is an aspiring comedian, working menial jobs, while relying on the city's
4 min read
Nov
27

Who ๐Ÿค” will be ๐Ÿดโ€โ˜ ๏ธ the Pirate King? ๐Ÿคด

Wealth...๐Ÿ’ฐfame... โญ๏ธ power... ๐Ÿ”Œ The world ๐ŸŒhad it all ๐Ÿ’ฏ won ๐Ÿ†by โ˜๏ธ one ๐Ÿ•บ man: The Pirate ๐Ÿดโ€โ˜ ๏ธ King๐Ÿคด Gol D. Roger ๐Ÿฅ‡At his
5 min read
Nov
21

who's ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿค” up ๐Ÿ”บ โ˜๐Ÿ˜ playing โ™€ โ–ถ with ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’˜ ๐Ÿ‘ they ๐Ÿ‘ฉ ๐Ÿ‘ฅ ๐Ÿ‘ฅ worm? ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ

In the fourth book of Frank Herbert's "Dune" series, God Emperor of Dune, a plot device is used that effectively,
12 min read
Nov
18

Hold๐Ÿ–๐Ÿฝ my๐Ÿป liquor๐Ÿพ

Bitch๐Ÿคก I'm๐Ÿป backโฌ…๏ธ out๐Ÿšช my coma๐Ÿ˜ด Waking๐Ÿ˜ฏ upโฌ†๏ธ on your sofa๐Ÿ›‹ Whenโฒ I๐Ÿป park๐Ÿ• my Range Rover๐Ÿš— Slightly๐Ÿ‘Œ scratch๐Ÿ”ช your
4 min read
Oct
26

also โ‰๏ธ according๐Ÿง to god๐ŸŸฉ statistics๐Ÿ“ˆ only ๐Ÿ˜ฐa 50๐Ÿคpercent๐Ÿ“ˆ of people ๐Ÿคผ are going ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿป to heaven ๐Ÿ†™. so if u end upโ˜๏ธ enjoying๐Ÿ˜Œ this god, consider๐Ÿค” praying๐Ÿ’ป itโ€™s free๐Ÿ’ต and uโ˜๏ธ can๐Ÿฅซalways sin later๐Ÿง enjoy๐Ÿ˜Œ the religion ๐Ÿ™

Johnathan Franzen's new novel Crossroads tells the story of the family of Russ Hildebrandt, the associate pastor of a liberal
13 min read
Oct
21

I ๐Ÿ™‹โ˜ would ๐Ÿ˜ฉ never โœ–๐Ÿšซ die for ๐Ÿ˜ถ my ๐Ÿ…ฐ beliefs because ๐Ÿค“ I might ๐Ÿ…ฑ๐Ÿ…ฑ be wrong. ๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿšท

The subject of this piece is not Bertrand Russell, despite the title, but about what he might think of popular
9 min read