Hermes Pulaski

Hermes Pulaski

Jun
24
The Chickenshit Club

The Chickenshit Club

“Today’s Department of Justice has lost the will and indeed the ability to go after the highest-ranking corporate wrongdoers.
10 min read
Jun
05

Contracommunist Uskoreniye

In 1996, Mikhail Gorbachev, the Soviet president and Communist Party general secretary until 1991, ran for president of the Russian
6 min read
Jun
04

“What does your sorrow do while you sleep? -It’s awake and waiting. And when it loses patience, it wakes me up.”

The Bridge on the Drina by the Yugoslav writer Ivo Andrić is a story about many things, conquest by empires
8 min read
May
31

"A thousand years of suffering in our veins"

In Five Billion Vodka Bottles to the Moon: Tales of a Soviet Scientist a one-time Soviet chief space official, Iosif
9 min read
May
28

“Quantity has a quality all its own.”

In popular media, "Harvard" is cultural shorthand for an elite institution, a place where genius congregates, and if its a
5 min read
May
22

Abstract dogma

Mao once wrote, "To let things slide for the sake of peace and friendship when a person has clearly gone
5 min read
May
20

🚨AWOOOOGA🚨AWOOOOGA🚨!!!! (or Confessions of a Foley Artist)

(Jaw drops 😲 to the floor 😱. Eyes pop out 😵. Sound effect 📣 of, "🚨 AWOOOOGA 🚨 AWOOOOGA 🚨!!!!" Places eyes 😶 and jaw 👅 back in place
6 min read
May
01

party in the CIA 2 🤬🤣😞😪🚐🏍🚔🚚🚔🛺🚲

I 😳moved😆 out 😛to 😍Langley 🤨recently😜 With 😎a 😀plain 😁and 😂simple 😄dream😘 Wanna 😛infiltrate 😗some 😡third-world 🥶place😳 And 😰topple 😱their
8 min read
Apr
11

The garbage 🗑 🗑-can shit 💩 💩-fest Disney tried 👋 to ✌ pedal as 🕐 the final movie 🎬🎬🎬 🎬, "Recess Taking 💎 the Fifth Grade," 🏫🏫 may 💯🏻 have 👏 🈶🈶🈶 🈶🈶🈶 sent me 🤓 into 🤔📥 a 👏🦆 spiraling depression 😓😂 had 😿 I 👁😎 actually finished 🔚😂 the 📈 movie 🎥 🎬 🎬.

While ⏳ the ♀🌫 internet 🌐👉 🌐 🌐 reception 📶📶 📶📶 📶 of 👏😢 this 💦🙅 ⬆ ⬆ movie 🎥 🎬 🎬 is 😂🚟 🈶 🈶 fairly kind 🙁 it ♀ is 💦 🈶 🈶 the 📉 worst 🦃👏 😡 😡 fucking 🍆😡 🖕 🖕 derivative heap of 🌾💦 trash 🗑🗑 🗑 I
15 min read
Apr
01

Look, 👁 having 🈶 nuclear ☢☢☢ — my 😀 uncle was a great 🇬🇧 professor 👩‍🏫 and 👩‍🔬👩‍🔬👩‍🔬 and engineer, 👩‍🔬 Dr. John Trump at MIT; good 🆗 genes, very good 📈 genes, OK, very smart, 🧠 the Wharton School 🏫🍎 of Finance, very good, 🌟🙅‍♂️🤞🦸‍♂️🙅 very smart 🧠🧠🧠 —

🤟 know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I 😊 were a liberal, if, like, 🧡 OK, if I 😀 ran as a
10 min read